Missing in Action

It’s been a minute. From Three Weeks and a Day to three and a half months. I call it progress. I didn’t give up. I kept going. Better late than never, right? But never late is better. But who knows God’s timing anyway? Here’s a quick brief on the three and a half months gap in my journey. Though I was missing from my own blog, I was still in action. I went to Experience Love As Is. It was painful. The letting go part. The try it again part was loathsome and familiar. The shame bothered me, and angered me, and brought me into a dark place. During this time I met a beautiful poet. He recited poetry to me. He reminded me to write. Told me my cup was too full to take in anything else, and I needed to empty it. I’m an Aquarius. A water bearer. I got caught up in that too; the zodiac. Still into that. None the less, I started writing more. Not on the blog, but I wrote music, poetry, diary entries to God. Diary entries for, and to myself. I wrote about the poet. I wrote to release darkness, pain, and anger. I recorded music at my apartment. I started a YouTube channel. I didn’t get rich, and nothing fancy happened, but something moved me. I put in my two weeks notice and quit my job. I gave up my apartment and left the state of California. I decided to travel and now I’m at stop one. Here I plan to rebuild myself in every way. Or many ways rather. But time is everything right now. This stop for me has a time limit. Most of my stops do. I have a goal in mind that I intend to achieve, God willing. Currently my life is a beautiful mess on some days. Other days it’s only a mess, and I try to remember the beautiful. There’s support. Not from everybody, but somebody. There’s Love somewhere because God never leaves. Even in darkness God shows up. It’s a remarkable moment feeling broken and lost. Afraid and alone. And then having God reach in to grab you, and tell you He loves you, and you belong to Him even in darkness. For me it had become real dark for a while; within those first few months. So I thought God had left me, and hated me. But He didn’t. He was angry with me. But He didn’t leave me. I’m very thankful and appreciative of His Mercy and Forgiveness now. I needed it, and He gave it to me along with Comfort from The Holy Spirit. I learned a lot these past few months. I changed a little these past few months. I got stronger these past few months. I’m a little bit wiser than I was those first few months. Now I perceive that a growth spurt is near. I’m anxious and nervous all at once. Change can be intimidating, but the Alpha and Omega never changes. He’s always Omnipresent. So I know I’ll be fine as long as I have His Omnipresence. Moving forward by Faith, and not by sight seems to work better when knowing Emmanuel, God with us. And that’s what I have experienced in the three and a half months I spent missing in action. Now I intend to practice what I’ve learned to continue this Journey. My Journey. And the vision is still the same. I wish you all well on your travels ahead. Life is a journey for us all. May The Most High be with You on yours.
Missing in Action

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